The B Side

Love has a strange way of finding us, sometimes in joy, but more often in the unravelling. Life, with all its careful plans and promises, can shift in a breath. One moment, you’re steady. Next, you’re staring at the pieces of something you thought would last. And in that quiet wreckage, heart cracked open, hands trembling, love reveals what it really is.  I’ve learned that heartbreak doesn’t just hurt. It hollows. It echoes. It lingers in the spaces they once filled, in the silence after laughter, in the absence that follows presence. It takes your breath before you even realise it’s gone. But even in the ache, there is beauty, because to grieve like that means you dared to love deeply. You let yourself be seen, held, known. That kind of love never truly disappears. It leaves something behind. Pain, no matter how sharp, is temporary, though it doesn’t always feel that way. Sometimes it wraps itself around your ribs and makes a home there. But even then, it is love, not just romanti...

I rode for miles,  trying to quiet the noise in my head.  Fifty kilometres of empty roads up north  and heavy breath. New places. And somehow, without meaning to,  I ended up in front of your house,  still carrying everything I tried to leave behind. And I just stood there,  not knowing if I wanted to knock  or keep riding forever.

Tem coisas que a gente escreve sem saber se vai ser lido. E outras que a gente escreve justamente por isso. Faz quatro meses que o mundo ficou mais vazio, mas não o bastante pra calar o que ainda vive aqui dentro. O tempo tem passado, sim, mas certas ausências não envelhecem. Elas se acomodam, educadas, no canto do peito. Não fazem barulho,  só fazem falta. E o  mais engraçado de sentir a sua falta é sentir a sua falta enquanto a vida segue. Às vezes me pego relendo as nossas palavras, e pensando no quão bonito era quando trocávamos palavras bonitas, como se cada uma acendesse uma luz suave no meio da escuridão.  Era lindo, né?  Era poesia sem precisar de rima.  Era encontro em plena distância.  Mas o que mais dói, e talvez o que mais me inspire,  é pensar que havia tanto amor,  e mesmo assim faltou coragem.  Que triste; o meu amor transbordava, mas a sua coragem evaporou no medo.  O mais louco de sentir a sua falta é que mesmo sentindo ...

Y ou know, I’m so deep, so intense, that any attention feels like love. I understand you, your pain, your thoughts, your moments. I’m deeply involved and I don’t know how to escape. I don’t know if I should stay or go, wait for you, or leave it up to fate. Fate sometimes plays with us and I wouldn’t say I like it. I give too much of myself and I stumble, hurting myself, even though I know what’s coming. I know you can’t say much and this silence cuts me and opens wounds I don’t want to nurture.  But ‘every time I run away, I get closer, and losing sight of you like this is too painful,’ and I don’t know what to do anymore. I crave your complete affirmation because I already feel a connection, and I hesitate to get close to others. It’s hard.  I want peace. But I also want love, desires and wants that are physically fulfilled. You balance me and that does me good. It’s hard to be the hidden side when my heart wants to scream. It’s even harder to know that I can’t keep anything ...

The other day, while counting my steps on a street that didn’t seem to lead anywhere but the office, I heard your voice call my name. Clear. Steady. Like you'd just stepped into the room of my life again, casually, as if no time had passed. For a second, I thought maybe I was slipping—low blood sugar, a lack of sleep, maybe something weird I ate. But no. None of those things. So I answered. Of course I did. What else does a heart do when it hears home? For a few minutes afterward, I stood there in a sort of waking dream, swept into the exact shape of how it used to feel when you were close. It was so real, so full, I thought my heart would burst open just to make more space for the joy.  I didn’t try to understand it. The universe twists itself into knots sometimes, just to see if we’ll notice.  But now I know—if I ever hear your voice again, I’ll follow it, no matter where it leads. With all of that spinning through my mind, I got home that day and remembered—somewhere i...