The B Side

She writes in the morning. He calls himself a poet. He called it a literary love. She never called what it was. He misses her on rainy days. She misses his touch. He is all emotion. She doesn’t speak of hers. He can’t live with doubt. She is made of questions. He loved her. She was afraid of staying. He ran out of ways to say I love you. She ran away herself. She writes in the morning. He keeps her on the page.

I  couldn’t sleep, imagining the weight of our embrace after so long without you.

It is a strange pleasure to feel that someone can reach for me without ever being reachable. All doors are shut, yet the page remains open, a hollow echo, a shadow of absence. Sad, isn’t it? Let courage rise, let honesty speak without disguise. Would you? Would you dare admit the longing that cannot be described, the ache that hides behind walls of silence? If words are all we have, let them be a lifeline. Stop the quiet that cuts deep. A voice can save what fear is suffocating. Not answers, not promises, just sound breaking the dark. If this is a call for help, let it be answered with urgency. The sound of your voice can save my life.

A new year, a diagnosis, and whole chapters to be written. I think I am ok.

It's Sunday, the sun is out, and the air is cold. Winter is definitely here. I walk along the canal, my phone playing Billie Eilish. I'm taking myself for a coffee. Large latte with an extra shot, please. While I wait, I watch the wind scatter the last leaves on an already naked tree. People pass, wrapped in their own thoughts, and I wonder where they might be heading. Does it matter? Well, maybe it does, for a busy mind like mine. I smile gently at some child and make my way back home. Back inside, the door clicks shut, and the quiet settles. The cup warms my hands, the song fades, and the day feels smaller in a good way. Nothing has changed, yet something has eased. I place the coffee on the counter, breathe once, and let the afternoon arrive carrying two new chapters for the book I’m writing. And for the first time in a long while, I let myself be whole again.