Hey,

Spent time with a friend yesterday, the kind who knows me inside out and where no masks are needed. She's been listening to my noise for 20 years now. Brave soul, isn't she? Told her about us. She loved you. That's how positive I'm feeling about it, us and the future we can build together. She loved the fact that I'm in love again after so many years and ready to make it happen, ready to call you "babe" and make myself home to you. I didn't bring the past because it doesn't matter anymore, does it? ok, I did mention the mistake of convincing myself you lied to me.

She called me stupid and I agreed.

And, besides my anxiety, here is where I am after opening up and hearing my own voice speak about us: I'm clearing the dust and I believe our trust can find its footing. I see the start of something real, like your smile after my coffee-flavoured kiss, my first stroke as I learn to swim, our laughter filling the space between us. 

You resting on my chest, breathing peacefully. And through it all, I see us turning every doubt into certainty. 

Together we will find our way.